Our Adoption Journey So Far

I realized that we set up this blog as sort of an adoption blog and so far I have not really talked about our adoption or our pathway to adoption. After 4 1/2 years of doctors and pills we had hit a crossroad in our infertility treatments. We could try some more pills and see what happened, or go out of state for a surgery that we were not sure would work. Both of us were very conflicted. Neither option seemed to be right. For weeks Jason and I talked about the pros and cons of each option, whether or not we thought they were right and what we should do. This was very hard as we both really wanted a family. The previous 5 years had been hard going to doctors appointments, living with insensitve comments that we were not trying hard enough, and unsolicited advice from people who thought they knew more then our doctor.


I complained to a friend of mine that we were not getting any answers and that we were confused about what to do. I told her that neither option seemed right and that I was frustrated. She told me maybe that neither option was right and the reason we could not make a decision was because we needed to look at a different option. She reminded me of the scripture that says that if something is right that you will feel a burning in you chest and if it is not right that you will have a stupor of thought. (That is me paraphasing the scripture) I am so thankful for her insight because that night I went home and told Jason I thought we should consider adoption. We had thought about it before but decided not to do it, but we decided to think about it again.


We both prayed about adoption and both felt it was the right thing for us to do. The confusion and the uncertainty disappeared and we both knew that it was the right thing. Sometimes the frustration is still there. Just because we made the right decision does not mean that it has been easy. We have now been waiting for a year and a half to adopt, but I still feel the peace that I did when we decided to adopt that it is the right decision. Sometimes other feelings of frustration, impatience, and worry get in there too, but I know this is what we are supposed to do.